Score: 9

"I like it, but it should be longer..."

submission: Dad 'n Me

date: August 3, 2005

I love classic-style beat-'em-ups. It's basically my favorite type of game. there's nothing like mowing through large numbers of inferior opponents at a ripshod pace. That being said...

Very strong gameplay, and very kinetic action. Kinetic ... frenetic, whatever. All in all, a very fluid game. However, it is only one level, and so is more of a demo than a full game.

Other things that struck me immediately: The lack of a jump button. While being able to dive headlong while running is neat, a nice, high jump with the option of two more (light and heavy) jumping attacks would have been nice. More attacks while grappling would have been good too. Since this is something of a throwback to Final Fight and the like, why not a Haggar-like piledriver? Gotta love the piledriver...

Oh, and weapons. That is to say weapons that you pick up and swing, as opposed to throw. I thought I might be able to get that last guy's gun away from him. Now that would've been neat.

BTW, the only reason I didn't beat this game first time through is that said last guy began to spin after I knocked him down, and without really getting up. The result was both of us laying prone, and every time he got up, he spun again, giving me no chance to escape or counterattack. That happened about 4 times before I developed a strategy to avoid overlapping him with the player character.

Uhm, okay, I guess I'm done with the constructive criticism. Great game! Hope there's an update to it at some point. :)

Score: 5

"Very very frustrating."

submission: Kitten Cannon!

date: April 11, 2005

Okay, so, like 8 times in a row, I fire the kitten at full power, and he flies 220-some feet without touching ANYTHING but the ground! Repeatedly the cannon fires the kitten directly into a venus flytrap. How in the world are these people getting 2000+ feet shots off?

Could be improved immensely by allowing the player to see the playfield, just so as to aim at something! Also, not so many stopping objects such as spikes and flytraps. I hit them much more often than explosives and trampolines.

Yeesh!

Score: 9

"Typically, I hate all sprite animation, but..."

submission: MMZ - The Last Cataclysm

date: April 11, 2005

This entertained me. I didn't expect that. I expected to watch it, blam it, and move onto something else. I hate the concept of sprite animation based on principal, but that was just great man. I gave it a 5.

Score: 8

"The ending didn't exactly sing to me."

submission: The Child That Smelt Odd

date: April 11, 2005

Overall, very good, quite funny. The end, however, I expected to be a little different. Perhaps the man from the spines commercial setting the banning building on fire, then saying to the viewer "I can afford to do this because..."

Yeah, bringing it full circle. That would've made it a touch better. Maybe even touching on the children with whom the short began.

Score: 10

"Maybe the best animation ever on Newgrounds."

submission: The Real Legend 2

date: March 30, 2005

Honestly, I've never seen anything like this online. The humor, the characterization, the animation, the art, it was all top notch. What's more, as someone who isn't all that familiar with Ocarina of Time, I got all the jokes, and they were hilarious.

If only you weren't using someone else's copyrighted characters; you could probably get a series of this quality on TV by submitting it to the right people...

Score: 8

"OMFG, WTF? LOL!"

submission: Fogmarl 7

date: December 3, 2004

This is one heck of a surreal, insane kind of ... I can't even tell you why, but I enjoyed it.

Now, the only question is, when are you going to do another Return of Jesus Christ cartoon? :)

Score: 8

"It was okay, but then I learned the trick."

submission: Tempur 1.0

date: December 2, 2004

I've discovered something you may want to fix in upcoming versions of this game. It's far too easy to simply walk up to your opponent, let him hit you, then throw him, doing far more damage than a few punches and kicks. I just mowed through everyone my first time playing by tossing them.

Otherwise, it's a beautiful example of Flash done right. :)

Score: 5

"I applaud your conviction..."

submission: The War on Terror

date: November 30, 2004

As a piece of flash art, it's lacking, but you say what you want to say, and you say it fairly well.

People who nitpick the numbers fail to grasp the point: We've killed a lot of Iraqi's on the president's sayso. To say that it's not the president's war, as some people have said during reviews of this piece, is foolish. Bush wanted to invade Iraq for his own personal goals, not because of terrorism. His daddy didn't get to finish what he started there, but his kid's a little unhinged.

This is my conclusion, not the medias.

Then again, my theories include Bush ordering 9/11 to occur. I think this because his family had business relations with the Bin Ladens well before then. Not to mention that Osama came out of hiding just before the election, which spurred some people I know to go to the polls and vote against Kerry.

In my opinion, the most dangerous terrorist ever born is George W Bush. The greatest threat this nation has ever known is known jokingly as "Dubya", and this nation made a grave, potentially fatal error by giving him another 4 years to ruin us in the eyes of the world. We've proven our critics right: America is ruled by a group of bible thumping, gun-toting hicks who believe they're above the rest of the world.

An Iraqi life is worth no less than an American life, and America is a part of this world. I only hope that more people will realize this in the near future, before it's too late.

Score: 9

"People are stupid. This is true."

submission: Return of Jesus Christ 2

date: May 31, 2004

First, I'll say that I don't review movies that I don't like. Second, I'll state that I can't give negative feedback because I, myself, don't know crap about flash (I have the program, but my work, class schedule, and fiancee make it hard to find time to learn). Third ... well, good shit.

As an artist, I can say that the drawings were a bit primitive, but still better than, say, Beavis and Butt-Head or South Park. It works, and that's what's important.

Just, well, for the third in the series, I'm begging you ... have Jesus talk to G.W. Bush. Maybe even talk about his sins. Here's an idea: he confronts G.W. and "forgives" him, only to be accused of terrorism. I mean, hell, have him mistake JC for a Muslim. "But I'm a Jew!" he replies, but G.W. can't tell the difference.

PS: If you like Bush, I apologize.

Score: 7

"Just read the long review. :-p"

submission: Matters Of Cheese

date: May 26, 2004

Fairly well done, with nice black line art that moved pretty smoothly. The thought of giant boxes of cheese falling from the sky amused me. The rat mistaking the human for a cat was amusing as well. The only thing I think really needs be added is more. More of a story, and make it a longer piece. In other words: I dig it.